Looking back through 2019-2020 Journal
Entry from February 28, 2020
My journaling process
I’ve been asking myself why I stopped journaling (which has been a constant question for 2 decades). I would use the excuse of being busy, or not being at one place long enough to tap into the inspiration, or that I am reading more instead…THOSE ARE ALL EXCUSES.
I’ve known since I was 10 years old that I need to write to release built-up energy. At that time, I would only write when I was angry, fuming actually - like when all I wanted to do was to yell at my parents, sister or friend. Since the latter would get me into trouble (or maybe I was already in trouble), I would write out everything that was in that little head and heart of mine. The diary was pink and had a lock - duh. I still have this diary, along with the key to it that sits all on its own in a small wooden heart box. All these years and locations, I’ve known just where I could find that diary and the wooden heart. And all those years, I’ve collected a variety of prized diaries just like that one. Honestly, they’re mostly filled with lists, inspirational quotes, reminder notes – nothing of much significance. But then there are the ones like my leather-bound journal with old-worn paper that Mary Helen Moses gave me when I left for the Philippines. I’ve gone back to it on and off throughout the years (it’s on my bedside table now) to write only the things I am grateful for.
The complaining, venting, and worrying does not have a place in the special book of gratitude. But it does, and must, have a space somewhere – it needs to be released on paper before it eventually is release onto another person or myself! Often, those start out with me fuming through some dramatic emotional turmoil (just like my 10 year-old self - because, well, the temper tantrum is most likely coming from my child within) and ending with me figuring out the problem, or at least feeling better than before I got it out of my system.
It just hit me! I haven’t been journaling because I haven’t been teaching. I haven’t been teaching because I’m still in transition and haven’t been here (in Charleston) long enough to make anything happen. To which I hear – “patience, child”.
This current path of mine is one of teaching to be taught, inspiring to be inspired, being well to spread wellness, spiritually awakening to encourage spiritual awakening, living freely to encourage liberation, loving to be loved. I guess it's “being what I want to see in the world”. It’s doing what I love and loving what I do. It’s living a life of meaning and fullness. That is not too much for me ask of the world. It is not too much for anyone to ask of the world.